Tag Archives: motherhood

There goes your dignity…

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Before after
 The more I grow into my role as a mom, the further and further I get from my pride, my dignity, and my shame. Putting your family first means so many things. It means doing what’s right for them before what’s right for you, it means making sure that they have what they need, it means making their feelings a priority and giving them the guidance and the attention that they deserve. But of all the sacrifices you will make, the toughest to swallow is making a fool of yourself, for them. Take this from someone who wasn’t even cool to begin with, you’ll be lamer still when you have kids. These little people who have you by the pride, want to see you dance, (literally and figuratively), in public, on a whim, at their bidding. You’re a trained monkey now, casting aside self-esteem for humiliating Halloween costumes. Singing aloud in the car to Sound of Music, Mary Poppins or heaven forbid, the Frozen soundtrack. Singing bad cockney with the windows rolled down as you play Dick Van Dyke to their Julie Andrews.

And yet such a huge sacrifice is so easy to make. It’s freeing and liberating to turn your care of the world’s perception of you, into an exclusive interest in their perception of you. And what comes along with it is beneficial for anyone, being dropped down a notch, being reminded of your station in life. You’re here for them and any selfish drive to save face or be cool just completely melts away in the face of a freckled nose who wants to engage in a public medley, who wants me to run in circles and fall down on the ground in public.

The other day, I saw a bumper sticker on a minivan that said, “I used to be cool”, and I laughed aloud, almost to tears, then I thanked God that I don’t have a minivan yet and then I thanked God that coolness, pride, shame and dignity are all a thing of the past.

Just one thing.

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If you’re a mother, please do one thing…around your house every day? Nope. For your husband? Nah. To make the world a better place? Maybe, but that’s not what I mean.

So many things can go by the wayside in motherhood: hygiene, a clean house, a sense of control in a world that no longer belongs to you but for all you Moms out there, I implore you, do one thing, just one thing…FOR yourself.

Get up really early and read. Or to watch that DVR’d tv show that your kid should never see. Sit down to eat a meal. Read People Magazine. Carve out time to get a pedicure. Take a bath. Scrapbook. Girl’s Night. Get ready for the day. Ignore them. Turn on a show for them. Give them a pile of snacks. Just make the time.

For me, that thing is running.

I have become the reason they make sport and athletic shoe ads, in slow motion, to the theme song for Chariots of Fire. I’m why they make up cute and inspiring quotes for t-shirts and social media about women who run. I fall for it hook, line and sinker. Because with so much of my identity wrapped up in other people at this time in my life, I need to be inspired to remember myself. I need to have one little thing that’s just about Krissy. I’m not even that good at it and in my pre-kid life, the most I ever ran was, like, 3 miles. When I go for a run now, I exceed what I once believed I was capable of. Running (some) distance, without incontinence. Setting an example for my kids to be well, to put themselves first in some small area. Besides, who are we kidding, it gets my head straight to prepare me for the battle ahead. Against laundry, against sibling contention, against the crowds at Costco.

Whatever it is, make it a priority to do something for yourself. It’s ok. It’s important. It’s essential. You will be better for your family. Do just one thing for yourself. Oh, and I don’t mean drink a bottle of wine. Although, no judgement.

The SAHM’s Art of Doing Nothing

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No matter how you cut it, a Mom’s work is hard, plain and simple. I respect every mom for her chosen path. Some have to work; some choose to work to be better moms when they’re at home; some stay at home; some stay at home and homeschool; some stay at home, homeschool and bake their own bread (and for the record, I’m no pioneer. I am (most days) just barely a SAHM). It’s all challenging. All versions of the gig have their pitfalls. There was a time before Soren when I think I might have been under the assumption that this wasn’t a job. That if I could just stay at home with my kids, I would, you know, do nothing but eat bon-bons, put my feet up, have more time to do laundry and on the side, raise my kids. As it turns out, not the job description.

One of the scariest parts of this job are long days, trapped inside the house. On these days, I try to amp up the activity. I keep us real, real busy. Working really hard, hauling kids from place to place. But this morning, I took a different approach. Sure, there are no bon-bons and I only put my feet up from 8:30pm (kid’s bedtime) to 9:15pm (my bedtime) but I could embrace some “doing nothing”. Instead of a playdate at the park, I was the human jungle gym. Instead of running errands in the car, we did airplanes on the floor. Instead of teaching them their ABC’s, I taught Soren how to rub my shoulders (for which a grateful daughter-in-law will thank me one day). Didn’t do a stitch of laundry. It will be there tomorrow. It always is.

Some on-the-job injuries were sustained but all in all, I got to enjoy what I do today. I ought to explore the perks of the job more often: my only deadline is dinner, bath, bed. The only important call I need to make is on a Fischer Price telephone. The only spreadsheet in my life these days houses the addresses for our Christmas card mailing list. My uniform is sweats. And when I want to, I can just hang with these kids and do nothing.

It’s not always easy and there are days when I wonder what my career path is. My patience with The Management is tested time and time again. But then I get a Bonus Kiss, or my “bosses” say that they love me or my husband gives me a vacation day. I get to hang out with some fabulous people. Serious perks to this job.