Category Archives: Humbling Motherhood

There goes your dignity…

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Before after
 The more I grow into my role as a mom, the further and further I get from my pride, my dignity, and my shame. Putting your family first means so many things. It means doing what’s right for them before what’s right for you, it means making sure that they have what they need, it means making their feelings a priority and giving them the guidance and the attention that they deserve. But of all the sacrifices you will make, the toughest to swallow is making a fool of yourself, for them. Take this from someone who wasn’t even cool to begin with, you’ll be lamer still when you have kids. These little people who have you by the pride, want to see you dance, (literally and figuratively), in public, on a whim, at their bidding. You’re a trained monkey now, casting aside self-esteem for humiliating Halloween costumes. Singing aloud in the car to Sound of Music, Mary Poppins or heaven forbid, the Frozen soundtrack. Singing bad cockney with the windows rolled down as you play Dick Van Dyke to their Julie Andrews.

And yet such a huge sacrifice is so easy to make. It’s freeing and liberating to turn your care of the world’s perception of you, into an exclusive interest in their perception of you. And what comes along with it is beneficial for anyone, being dropped down a notch, being reminded of your station in life. You’re here for them and any selfish drive to save face or be cool just completely melts away in the face of a freckled nose who wants to engage in a public medley, who wants me to run in circles and fall down on the ground in public.

The other day, I saw a bumper sticker on a minivan that said, “I used to be cool”, and I laughed aloud, almost to tears, then I thanked God that I don’t have a minivan yet and then I thanked God that coolness, pride, shame and dignity are all a thing of the past.

When I’m a Mom, I’ll never…

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Famous. Last. Words.

These days, when I feel an “I’ll never…” coming to the surface, I actually try to shove it back down my throat before it escapes my lips. And yet, sometimes I can’t stop it. And then I usually live to regret it.

  • I’ll never use a pacifier. Check. To take it further, I’m actually depressed My daughter F won’t use one.
  • I’ll never let my kid have a bottle in their crib. Check.
  • I’ll never take my kid out in pjs. Check. Check.
  • I’ll never have a tv in my car. Check.
  • Abridged to: I’ll never use the tv in my car, except on road trips. Check.
  • Abridged to: I’ll never use the tv in my car on short drives unless its an emergency. Check.
  • I’ll never let my kid crawl in bed with us. Check. Yeah, right. At 3am, you’ll do anything to go back to sleep.
  • I’ll never let my kids eat processed foods. Check.
  • I’ll never use a leash…

I actually haven’t done this YET but I’m assuming because I have very smugly said I wouldn’t, it might happen despite my strong belief that if your preschooler doesn’t listen or you can’t strap your baby or toddler into a stroller, it might not be a time to take them to, say, the fair. Again, I’m waiting. I’m sure a leash is in my future.

Every time I’ve dropped an “I’ll never”, confident in my conviction to these principles (if you can call them that), I’ve had the wind knocked out of my sails. It’s true that as a mom, you will be humbled and brought to your knees, over and over and over again. And in the end, sometimes over some things, you just have to take the path of least resistance and sacrifice the battle to win the war.

After all, what is motherhood (besides the most amazing gift) if not the most humbling experience? You will be ego-checked, and you can bank on that. I mean, I’m just getting started and the number of humbling experiences? Too many to count. I’m not saying I don’t have my convictions or that I’m not committed to them, I’m just saying these days, they have nothing to do with pajamas in public.