Lolly-gagging at the store. The certainty of your self-righteous views on parenting. Not being asked for a thing for an extended period of time. Believing dogs are equivalent to human children. Going to Costco every six months (instead of every 6 days). Taking time to pick out your outfit. Being able to hold your bladder. Being alone in your house. Only having to wipe your own butt. Long showers. Morning sex. Quiet. Organized drawers. Not having to explain what a tampon is. Carelessness. Eating your own plate of food. Unedited music. Unedited television. Matching socks. The joy of dining out. Leaving hot liquids just sitting around. Not having snot on your clothes for any reason. Finishing a book that is not, in any way about parenting. Sitting down on a urine-less toilet seat. Having kids.