Listen up, Singletons, DINKS, pregnant friends: I often ask myself how I lived without baby wipes. I couldn’t have known what I was missing out on. That’s why this is a public service announcement to all of you. Kids are not required, baby wipes are. Baby wipes have become the peanut butter to my jelly. The cream to my coffee. They complete me. They serve both my husband’s OCD and my germophobia. If they asked me to name three things I would want on a desert island, I’m not sure what the other two would be but I’m sure of baby wipes. If you don’t have babies and have never bought baby wipes, I encourage you to explore them now. Do not waste precious child-free years without including baby wipes in your life. Here is just a few of their uses:

• Dirt booger extractor
• Sponge bather
• Hand washer
• Last minute table duster
• Cold compress
• Eye flusher
• Crack sweat eliminator
• Ear cleaner
• Toe jam remover
• Toilet and sink wiper
• Arm pit freshener
• Car interior detailer
• Cooling face mask
• To block the sun
• To clean the grocery cart handle
• To remove human and/or animal feces
• To calm a hemorrhoid

The list could go on and on and I’m sure some of you have uses that far exceed my wildest dreams. But if you don’t…if before this, you didn’t even know they existed…run, don’t walk to Costco and buy a big, bulk box of baby wipes. You’re welcome.