I was told in early motherhood (& it’s proven true) that every time you get used to one phase, they switch it up on you. So far, I have gained some solace from this adage through difficult phases. Like, when they finally start sleeping through the night…and then teething happens. When they can eat their own meals…and then suddenly become picky and really good at throwing food on the floor.

My son has been (get ready to throw up in your mouth a little) a totally normal toddler/preschooler but pretty much, laid back, receptive to correction and all around, a joy to parent. I have never experienced a lay-down-on-the-floor-and-cry tantrum in public…until recently. I woke up about four weeks ago and the-kid-who-used-to-be-my-kid had been abducted and replaced by someone I’ve never met before. And this kid…this kid…

Picture this: Target. Me, two kids, two errands, 23 minutes and a mandatory walk through to view the two aisles that house the entire collection of Hot Wheels as a reward for patiently tolerating the process. Then imagine a meltdown. You get the idea. I’m a tantrum novice, there’s two teenage-ish checkers and a whole-lotta-judgey-one-kid-having-moms staring at me. I just keep struggling with the internal dialogue: “I have to get this done”/”you cannot allow this behavior”/”I have to get this done”/”you cannot allow this behavior”/”I have to get this done”/”you cannot allow this behavior”. In the end, I scraped him up, I did a whisper yell and a firm arm grab and prayed that if nothing else was gained from this episode, those teenage-ish checkers, at the sight of this display, were compelled to abstain from sex until such time that they feel ready to deal with the outburst they just witnessed.

As recently discussed with a friend, their behavior changes, you freak out (who is this kid?) and just as you devise a strategy to address said behavior, it changes again. A moving target. So I’m going to take this one in stride. I’ll introduce myself to the Preschooler-Formerly-Known-as-Soren and sooner or later, he will probably re-inhabit his body. I’m just going to take it one episode at a time and deal with each incident as it arises. I’m new at all of this and I can only do my best. I’m not being glib about it but I have to trust that part of the plan is that I have instincts and I should trust them. Reading a bunch of parenting books to deal with this moment in motherhood would be a waste of precious time. I could be on the floor playing with him…whoever HE is.